Road trip (MOM)

Just a quick post. This weekend my mom and I set out on a little road trip to hit Provo, Utah. We were going to see my  first apartment and sign my lease and get that situated!! I was so excited - on the way down my mom was DJ. The best DJ you could imagine- we rocked out the entire way. She had me dancing and laughing and making the best memories.. One in particular I won't forget was when we were cruising Down the highway and then I see red and blue lights flashing behind me. My first speeding ticket. I was pedal to the metal flying down a hill when I was stopped but a rather grumpy officer. I got off a little easy- not as easy as I had wished though.  I pulled back onto the highway with tears in my eyes and a broken heart as I thought oh man "moms probably so mad right now. And how am I ever going to be forgiven" when my mom took the ticket and put it away and said "no need to let this ruin our trip this is your weekend and we are going to have fun!" I was shocked but so grateful for my moms reaction. I think I had been more disappointed in myself than she was.. But I know that she was still a little heartbroken.  So I guess what I'm trying to say with a heart full of gratitude.. My mom is the best. From being the best DJ, to being a great comforter, to taking me shopping, and just letting me be away for the weekend. I love her. I'm beyond grateful for our relationship and couldn't have a better best friend. College is really going to suck without her ❤️ 

Simple words. Great comfort.

Tonight I've been inspired by a few friends that make me want to share just a little about my life and struggles. A couple weeks ago I had a crazy busy week, I was an emotional wreck and I just thought that my life was so awful. Just as I was at the verge of breaking down a good friend Sarah came over with Ice cream, a trashy magazine, and a loving note. Just a little reminder and spiritual uplift. Nothing extravagant but the perfect cure for me. That led me to reaching out to a distant friend today, one who had shared that she was having an awful week and being in her position just a couple weeks ago I decided to follow Sarah's lead and to reach out to her. To send her a little text (it's 1 am .. A little late to deliver anything tonight. But I have plans to) and just share my love for her. She had said it was just what she needed- and after Sarah had done the same for me I knew that my friends words were genuine. I'm so grateful for the power of service and for the peace that service brings us. Whether we are on the action side, or the recieveing side service is a blessing to all. 

Happiness

I recently read an article that talked about what happy people do differently in their lives and the effects of it. This quote was at the bottom and I wanted to share it and keep it as a reminder to myself.

 "Do the best you can to smile.   Be so busy loving your life and the people in it that you have no time left for hate, regret or unnecessary stress.  In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience.  It’s a long-term journey." 

3.11.15

I am..

There's this challenge going around on the Internet to bring awareness for eating disorders. It's called the #IAm challenge and it is asking people to write their own individual "I Am" statement that describes them. It's asks for reflection, passions, characteristics, and beliefs. What a great way to share a message and uplift ourselves. I decided to take the challenge.. 

I am loved! By my parents, family, friends, acquaintances, and most importantly my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I am a beautiful daughter of God.  I was created in his image and I am perfect because of that.  I am mature, intelligent, and wise. I make mistakes. I like boys a little more than I should. I eat ice cream more than I should. I take too many pictures. I recognize my own flaws.  I try my hardest. I put my heart and soul into everything I do. I am honest. (As much as I would love to say I've never told a lie, I have.  But I try to be 100%  honest in my dealings and words.) I am tall.  I am strong. No, not physically. But in my beliefs. I am a lover of adventure and knowledge.  I love to serve others. I have been taught to love others and I do. I am passionate. I am caring. I am giving. I will give all I have to satisfy another. But. I am selfish.  I am jealous sometimes. I am living. I am a lover of waffles. I like all music from  Luke Bryan to Imagine Dragons to Kedric Lamar  to the B--52's.  I am funny (well I try to be). I am vulnerable. I am surrounded by the most loving people. I am proof that life's hardest lessons can be learned at a young age, but the result is more than you would ever believe. I am inspired. I am living in a world that I can be anything that I want to be, and I've decided that I am me... I am never changing who I am. 

Trust

The hardest thing to gain is trust. And the easiest thing to lose. Don't sacrifice trust for anything. It is not worth it. And never will be.  

22- Taylor Swift 2.11.2015

MGM- the last couple of days we were staying at the MGM for a fun little staycation! Of course I still had school and studying and college applications but this amazing view didn't stop me. I was super relaxed while looking at my beautiful city and studying.  I really truly love Vegas with my whole heart. Vegas is home, no matter where I go in life. 

 Hamburger protein style- no tomatoes no onions add pickles. Fries well done & a water cup. ( $4.05 ) This week has been just me hanging out a lot so I've had in-n-out 3 times already.  Every time the same order. It's my fav! 

I Also rocked the night away with my hott aunts and cousin on Friday! We went to the music video shoot of the song "shots" on Fremont street downtown! Talk about an AMAZING performance and of course the ventue was off the hook. We listened to the whole album too- it's amazing. My fav song right now is Summer (Imagine dragons) but we'll see when I get a chance to listen to the songs numerous times! 

Lastly for tonight just going to say how excited I am (this excited) to go back to Disneyland next weekend! I know I was there two weeks ago but it's still fun to go. I'll be going with Stuco which should be way fun! 

Shots -Imagine Dragons 2.9.15

Today has been a roller coaster of emotions. First I'll start with the happiness and good news Taylor and Ronnie got their engagement pictures done today. Taylor let me give her a complete make-over which was super fun! I basically played life size Barbie! Here's a sneak peek!! 

Okay now down to the fun part - my night. Let me tell you it involved Krispy Kreme, some really loud music, crying and this: (bubble bath & diet coke)

So we had this plan to go to sadies in California(six flags) this weekend but my date heist got a new job and had to work and I kept having this overwhelming feeling that I shouldn't go at all. I have been worried sick the last week and I thought I had everything figured out Sunday night (earlier last night) but then my date said he couldn't go. And I made the decision for myself to not go to sadies. Although I was supposed to drive half of the couples (this plan was made about 7:30-8:00 last night so it has not been a plan all along) I felt that even finding another date that I should not be there. I don't know why I had this feeling but I did! My mom said she has the same feeling. So I let my group know this morning and they had called and said how much they " wanted " and NEEDED me to go (they don't have any other options to get to California apparently). So I felt overwhelmed and cried for a while.. I wasn't upset because I let them down, but I was upset because I felt used. They did not offer sympathy for the things that I was dealing with, nor did they ask. They had just wanted me to drive them. I talked with my mom for a long time and we decided what was best for me, and that was to still not go. Even though I had now began to feel guilty. A while later  I got a text from another person in the group, which was much more compassionate and had offered for me to join the group in doing something else in town(even though she knew I was dateless).  It was nice that someone had been understanding and kind to me. But then I got a phone call from some of the boys and they then did the same thing as the first phone call.  Not sure if they understand the situation but it was a big mess and once again left me feeling guilty and crying. As always- I sought comfort from my mom and found my answer... 

It is not about who your friends are, how much you love them, or how guilty you feel. Sometimes it has to be about You.  And today, I made it about me. What was convenient for me, what made me happy, and what decision I finally felt peace with. Your friends are always going to be your friends, but don't let them take advantage of you or your kindness. It is great to love them and serve them but DO NOT make yourself miserable trying to make anyone else happy. This is something I need to work on in a lot of aspects of my life but tonight my eyes were opened to this concept. I always want everyone to feel happy and included and loved but when I realized I wasn't getting that in return I knew that I needed to find it.  

I know that I'm disappointing my friends, but I still love them. I just love myself more and know that my happiness is the most important to me. 

Also I'd like to give a little shout out to my mom for being a shoulder to cry on (literally today) and for loving and guiding me. I hope one day I'll be able to love my children the way you love us and protect them as you do. ❤️ (p.s. Thanks for the doughnuts, they made this sucky night a little better.)